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Royal Ontario Museum - Playground of the Rich and Super-Rich

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The Sun Never Sets... on the British Empire - and Hilary Weston...

Great Canadian Heritage Treasure At 2 a:m everyone is asleep, except the Hilary Weston megaliths...

They can't get any shut-eye because, even if there's only one street person that may be passing by, trying to find a manhole cover to sleep on, that is warmer, from the sewage coursing through below, Hilary wants her name in lights so they can be reminded that the Irish princess is soundly snoozing away in one of her many palaces.

The ROM sign is grateful, to pick up some residual spill from Hilary's own light, otherwise the name of the institution would be blacker than Lord Double Cross of Black Harbour's heart.

Having been to Egypt and seen the huge sound and light show they put on at the pyramids, Hilary put it to the ROM to do something similar with her megaliths, by getting Christopher Plummer to intone her name and accomplishments, backed with Pomp and Circumstance music, over a loudspeaker system.

Exasperated, the new management at the ROM, told her it was time to put a stop to the overweening self-promotion, offered one light per rock, and suggested she go into therapy to cure her condition.

Hilary ran off pouting to Galen; but his was not a sympathetic shoulder to cry on. He had told her to stop the madness 9 megaliths before, that one would suffice, for normal egomaniacs.

Hilary Weston Megaliths Under Spotlights
Orig. megalith & spotlight - Size - pharaonic
Found - Toronto, ON

Great Canadian Heritage Treasure

The HIlary Memorial Stones - Royal Ontario Museum - 21st Century
Orig. memorial megalith - Size - overwhelming
Found - Toronto, ON
Absolutely breathtaking, in their overwhelming presence, are the 2 (two) mammoth Hilary Weston memorial megaliths installed over the entrance of Canada's most venerable museum. They are designed to give eternal notice of a truly heart-warming Canadian success story - that a girl, who barely made it out of high school, can still strike it rich...

Hilary chose seduction - instead of education - to snag a man who bought her way everywhere she wanted to go, including Chairman of the Board of the Royal Ontario Museum's "Renaissance Campaign," where she quickly had him pay to have the two monstrous memorial stones installed. (There are lots more similarly intrusive monster stone blocks inside.)

They have been called "without a serious challenger anywhere, the most momentous in-your-face act of societal gaucherie in Canadian history." This is clearly uncharitable; in fact Hilary got a charitable tax exemption, worth millions, for her public-spirited expenditure...

The photo was taken on a rather dour day, when few people were about.

The guards and the silk ropes are there to keep the normal crowds that rush forward on sunny days, from prostrating themselves at the foot of the stones and reaching up to touch the sacred icons, and soiling them with their unwashed hands...

Hilary Weston was the second of two super-rich men's wives who were boosted, by powerful husbands, into becoming - we kid you not - the first female Lieutenants-Governor of their respective provinces. Hilary Weston, AKA "the Cookie Monster" - she's the one with the oreo cookie on her family crest - in Ontario; Maggie McCain, wife of potato magnate Wallace - she's the one with a French fry on her family crest - in New Brunswick.

Ask any psychiatrist, who'll tell you that that kind of "handed to me on a platter" accomplishment breeds some kind of gross feeling of insecurity, that you have to overcome... Let me see, now, how can I prove to a skeptical and sneering public, my worth to myself and to everyone else...? Hmmmh...

Great Canadian Heritage Treasure A shitty little sign...

The man who worked hard to get an education - a B.A., and an M.A. that Hilary never even attempted; give her that: she knew her limitations - and worked harder than anyone else to establish the Royal Ontario Museum as Canada's premier museum, only gets a shitty little sign...

Shunted off to the side of the building, a long way from the entrance, where people have to stop and notice, is the province's - not the Museum's - homage to the creative spirit who founded this iconic institution.

When, without him, the rich and the super-rich would have had nowhere to put their monstrous memorial stones and plaques...

Now the rich and the super rich brashly elbow their way into prime time real estate space beside the front door and beside and over every other major thoroughfare inside.

Shitty Little Sign to Walter Currelly - Founding Spirit and First and Longtime Director of the Royal Ontario Museum
Orig. provincial plaque - Size - shitty little size
Found - off to the side, and out of the way, so not to take attention away from the Hilary Memorial Stones
Not just an uneducated clothes horse, Charles Currelly was an archaeological pioneer with enormous academic and professional accomplishments.

in an age when the great British expeditions were hard at work uncovering the secrets of ancient Egypt he was there alongside, for years, making great discoveries of his own.

We can well recall the studied reverential tones of our grandmother, on numerous occasions, in the early 1960s, invoking his name - "Doctor Currelly," she always called him - when the conversation veered - as it often did, during games times after family dinners - towards her favourite institution.

Since 1917 she was a very strong supporter of the Royal Ontario Museum lovingly boosting and supporting its programs.

It's a good thing she's long dead. She would not be pleased how her beloved building has become a mere play toy of the rich and super-rich - you know, like the Cookie Monster - and been grossly desecrated by their architect and cement block contractor friends and cronies.

Classy Guy - Charles was also a minister and a fine Christian gentleman.

Somehow we know he would not have approved even this shitty little minimal sign honouring his enormous contribution to the public good at the ROM.

Crass - Totally unlike the crass and greedy rich and super-rich, who have no trouble at all, brashly elbowing their way to the front of any line where their money will take them, to force the public to take notice that they have it. (Memberships in the Canadian Senate; Members of the Order of Canada, etc.)

And since that is still not enough, to put up monstrously megalomaniacal memorials on public buildings to pay homage to themselves, their wives, their kids, their dogs, in short, to their overweening vanity, all because they ended up - by hook or by crook - with lots of money to sneer in front of everybody else...

And giving them untold millions of "tax-dodge" dollars in return, to put in their pockets at tax time...

#3 - The Seven Wonders of Canada - The 8 Hilary Memorial Stones
- with a displacement of 96.6 tonnes of limestone blocks

An enormous stone block, larger than any the Pharaohs of Ancient Egypt erected to display their names for Posterity on their pyramids at Giza...

A monumental megalith more massive than any the Stone Age Druids set up to pay homage to the gods at Stonehenge...

More stupendous than any triumphal stone that Alexander the Great erected to bear his name in honour of his storied conquests that were the marvel of the Ancient World...

More grandiose than the enormous lion megaliths that King Agamemnon of Mycenae, erected to his eternal glory over the entrance to his palace...

More immense than any stone engravings erected by the conquering Caesars on the Triumphal Arches of Ancient Rome, in honour of their conquests in Europe, Africa, and Asia...

More overwhelming that the enormous stone faced monoliths of Rapa Nui - Easter Island to you...

Mightier than any monumental stone that Napoleon erected to bear his name, to honour his fabled victories in Egypt and Europe...

Dwarfing anything Citizen Kane set up to glorify the name of his mistress, in fabled Xanadu...

Greater than... blah, blah, blah...

The editors of the Guinness Book of World Records clearly quite overcome by its truly heroic scale call it: "Without a serious challenger, the largest, heaviest, and most monumental massif of heroic, carved stone, honouring the names of rich and powerful people, anywhere on record in the Occident or Orient, as ever erected or installed on any Public or Private Edifice, Temple Obelisk, Memorial Monument, Commemorative Stele, or Triumphal Arch, in the Ancient, Medieval, or Modern World."

Hey... not bad for a poor Irish girl with no education to speak of, but who got one thing right...

She bedded a rich young man right off the bat...

Something fellow socialite Barbara Amiel (Lady Black) spent decades auditioning countless panting men for, until she managed to get it Right, just before her looks went completely... into the hands of her surgeon.

And then she still had to settle for a grossly pompous and overweight old geezer (Lord Conrad Black) with a penchant for repeated criminality that will forever blacken his family name, while Hilary grabbed a clean-cut, young guy, who didn't have to descend to such depths, being born into wealth, flush with the inherited billions from his dad, a cookie magnate.

"Oh, everyone just laughs about it. Saying Galen only bought her Holt Renfrew to give her something to do, and keep her out of trouble... Tee hee..."
- VM, a close intimate of the social circle

The happy couple could devote their entire lives to spending his dad's money to buy access to the the most influential power brokers in Ontario.

Her rich hubby's multi-millions bought Hilary everything she ever wanted, or had, including her multiple lavish homes in Europe and America, businesses (Holt Renfrew), career accomplishments (sidestepping those irritating public elections based on merit, to accept public office appointments from influential friends), honourary university degrees (thanks to donations, instead of years of dumb classes - indeed, today many "copycats" clearly prefer the "Hilary" option, by similarly purchasing their degrees, from other motivated sellers, these on the internet), and the Hilary Memorial Stone.

(Note to Americans: Hilary is Canada's equivalent to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, who also started life as models, with money to burn, but have failed, as yet, to contribute a Memorial Stone to civilization to commemorate their turn on stage. Hopefully the Hilary Stone might encourage them to think about it, for the benefit of us all...)

Compared to Barbara's countless failed attempts to bed a decent guy, Hilary's restrained one-upmanship, and clear success, at the most ancient of the "Arts of Man Through All the Years" is certainly worth a majestic monument in stone to last through the Ages.

And no decent Canadian would begrudge her carving her name TWICE... Now, we ask you, why didn't the Great Pharaoh Cheops, Napoleon, or Alexander the Great, think of that...?

The Hillary Memorial Stone currently ranks number 3, on the list of the Seven Great Wonders of Canada, just behind Ellie Siegmeister's triumphant "green" invention, the "single corn cob on a string and nail" for outdoor farm toilets, to prevent wasting paper...

Hilary's intimates say she confided in them that she's not cross. Said one especially close to her, speaking on the promise of anonymity, "Hilary, laughed when she heard it, saying, 'I've been out West. Believe me, Ellie deserves it.'"

Oh, and what did Wicked Willie Thorsell get, for letting Galen memorialize his wife in stone at the front door of the ROM - well besides many grateful dinners at the Weston mansion?

Below inside is the banister from the "Weston Stairway," all full of exposed screws on tacky wallboard badly fitted together. Guaranteed, Willie won't find any of these at the Weston castle.

"Well," an exasperated Hilary, exclaimed, when she first saw the dreadful workmanship, "it's not Willie's fault. Good help is so hard to find these days. In desperation, for all my girls, I've had to go to Mexico, Haiti, and the Philippines, to find anything affordable. And even Galen - gosh he's been so busy at the office lately - tells me he's had to go all the way to Russia before he could find girls that are any good at secretarial work."

Great Canadian Heritage Treasure

Souvenir Cup, Minnedosa, MB
Orig. cup - Size - 5 cm
Found - Rugged Butte, MB
Ellie Siegmeister's fabulous souvenir cup she got in Minnedosa, not far from where she would invent the "corn cob on a string and nail."

It dates from around 1910, a few years before Ellie was born. But souvenir ware had a long "best before" shelf life, and was still available years after. Ellie was vague on whether she had inherited it from her mother, who may have bought it in the 1910s.

#2 of the Seven Wonders of Canada

93 year old Ellie Siegmeister from Ragged Butte, Manitoba, demonstrating how she originally prepared the family corn cob on her parents' farm in the early 1930s, coming up with an invention, for farm toilettes, that edged out the Hilary Memorial Stone as #2 of the Seven Wonders of Canada.

The self-effacing Ellie said it was no big deal. When the Eaton's catalogue didn't arrive in Ragged Butte, in 1932, the family was desperate, until Ellie came up with her innovative invention.

The modest Ellie says it really was a no-brainer. She says she came up with the string and nail because people were forever misplacing the corn cob.

"The string and nail," she said, triumphantly, "put an end to that. Or that in the end," she winked slyly.

Her idea spread like wildfire; soon there wasn't a farm in western Canada without a family corn cob on a string and nail.

So when you went visiting the neighbours you were always sure to find one handy.

Truly only the most churlish Canadians would disagree that Ellie deserves to edge out Hilary as the more accomplished Canadian.

Below the place where Canada's first "corn cob on a string and nail" was placed, is now a Parks Canada Great Canadian Heritage Site.

When Parks officials offered to put up a plaque in there with her name - though they apologized profusely that they couldn't afford one as big as the Hilary Memorial Stone - Ellie politely declined.

"Gosh, we're jes' plain folks, here in Rugged Butte, not like some of dem high brows yiv' got in Trawna."

Has she seen the Hilary Memorial Stone?

"Goodness gracious, no. I ain't niver been to Trawna. Don't miss it none, neether... Been to Minnedosa, though, lots of times... Even got me a suv'neer there once... Oh, and best of all, got to go to Emerson, once, to watch the bridge turn. Now that was some exciting...

"Was s'posed to go to Winnipeg in '38 to buy my weddin' dress, but decided to get one at Billy Bob's grocery store here in Ragged Butte instead. Was in the midst of doin' preserves, ye know, and jes' couldn't git away. Though I do wish I could've seen Portage and Main jes' once in my life..."

Her voice trailed off sadly, at having missed the high point tourist destination for western Canadians.

Below Ellie's corn cob on a string and nail can clearly be seen strategically placed to be handy for either a left-hole or a right-hole customer, or a lefty or right-handed user.


Curiously Ellie's great invention did not catch on so much in Ontario.

Academics believe that this was because Ontario farmers were wealthier than their poor western cousins.

So they could actually afford to put a box full of disposable corn cobs in their privies.

Just another reason why more Canadians prefer to live in Ontario than out West.

Sadly, Ellie's invention was unknown to most Canadians, having gone out of fashion, decades ago, after the first toilet paper arrived in Alberta in 1947, and later becoming popular across the prairies, finally offering relief to the long-suffering people of Ragged Butte.

To commemorate the important transition in the life of their town, the City Fathers renamed it Rugged Butte.

Erratum: An irate email from a viewer in Rosebud, Alberta complains we have the date wrong, that the first TP arrived in Alberta in 1957, not 47... This, he added, rather crossly, is typically what happens whenever Easterners try to write the history of the West, and why they should just "butt out. OK!"

But this revision, if correct, is an exciting development for all educators because it means that Ellie's invention might have endured out West far longer than scholars had previously thought was the case.

Below, the only souvenirs Ellie ever bought, after visiting the bridge at Emerson, population 655, and a major western Canadian tourist destination... though unlike the celebrated "two-holer" above, for some reason it does not merit a Parks Canada heritage designation...

Go to Ellie's Great Canadian Emerson Souvenirs



So, you thought you escaped Hilary's billboards, once you got through the entrance?

Think again...

Inside the main door, as you enter the foyer, you have to pass through another set of doors. As you reach for the handle on these inside glass door there's... why another Hilary reminder...

"Oh, so over the top," you say, "how gauche..."

"I'll try the other door, instead..."

Ah, hah ... think again; Hilary's already thought you might try that...

The double name plaques are on all three doors. That's six Hilary name plaques in all...

And cleverly, instead of putting her name plaques high over the door - you know like King Agamemnon did at Mycenae - she put them all at eye level, so they're only inches from your nose when you grab the handle of the door to push your way in.

No pushing past Hilary...

Well, at least, you say, that's the last of that...

NOPE! When you leave you'll see six duplicate Hilary plaques on the opposite side of the glass doors... THAT'S TWELVE HILARY NAME PLAQUES ON THREE DOORS ALONE...

I mean is this Museum about Hilary or what... Do you think she should go into therapy?

Around the corner, tee hee, the Bronfmans are much more discreet, with their "farewell card."

At least not in your face like Hilary on the foyer door.

Here you have to lift up your eyes, hopefully in awe, to see their name.

You say, you don't know the Bronfmans?

Why the patriarch made his billions importing and making bad and illegal whisky eons ago. It's not known how many hundreds or thousands died from drinking his bad stuff or too much of his good stuff.

But his booze wrecked a lot of families.

His offspring got rich and spent it on frivolous stuff like signs over doors and businesses that flopped losing gazillions in the process. Or got multi-millions in tax write-offs.

The Bronfmans are also famous for taking many billions of dollars out of Canada without paying the requisite taxes amounting to hundreds of millions, owed to Canadians by anyone exporting capital assets earned in Canada, to foreign countries.

The Bronfmans being super-rich, had friends in high places who waived the tax laws in their case.

Then most of them moved to New York where they put their money and corporate headquarters.

Nice move...

Don't you try that. You'll end up in jail. Or get charged with trying to bribe a public official.

So, for many Canadians, the name overhead is a reminder of the hundreds of millions, that went out the door, and was never paid to the taxman...

And when they die, they don't even come home to be buried in the country where their fortune was founded and they made their billions.

When current family honcho Charles' wife died, she got shipped to the country she loved most... Israel.

A tale of two staircases...

Right, in the "old" part of Ontarios's fabled Royal Ontario Museum, is the fabulous original marble staircase built in 1933, up and down which millions of visitors have walked over the past 80 years, from display rooms on the upper floors, to the washrooms down below...

Look at that fabulously expensive marble on the rail, and on those massive pillars.

Joe Public of the 1930s certainly got value for his tax dollars spent to make this a feast for the eyes for the Ages, and assured him of the certain knowledge that his tax money is there, not in the pockets of some middle-man or facilitating crony...

It's easily the most walked section of the entire museum where people are funneled into a tight space, and where anyone, with or without kids, has to go, if they spend any time at all, inside the ROM...



Right, in the infamously tawdry, but enormously expensive, new part of the ROM's modern addition, which - unlike the fabulous marble stair above - Hilary Weston and her friends did supervise, is the new stair case they installed - for the Ages...

Compare, to the 1933 one above...

Trouble is barely a year after it was completed, it still looks like everyone's basement reno gone bad...

Canadians can certainly identify with this; they've all got wallboard like this back home, lining the furnace room, and the rec room they couldn't afford to finish because of cash flow problems...

Going down these stairs in the new ROM makes the average Joe feel just like he's back home in his basement...

Trouble is, this project got tens, scores, of millions of his tax dollars. Millions for wallboard and screws? No wonder everyone's asking, where the hell did it all go?



This all causes panic attack, in certain quarters. As a friend of Hilary's reported she fretted privately, "Once the public walks past the entrance way, they don't see my name anymore..."

What to do? Her advisors suggested putting up more huge megaliths inside the building - seriously - in the most frequently travelled section, the way to the washrooms.

But not, they added hastily, but cautiously, not in the new ROM which she had supervised, because, frankly it was not a success on any level - the resounding opinion of the overwhelming majority of visitors.

In fact it has been voted the Toronto building most likely to be demolished and rebuilt in the next ten years...

So it would not be judicious to put up Hilary memorial plaques for the Ages, there; they would go out with the garbage, in a decade or so...

"Besides," said one trusted intimate, looking earnestly into Hilary's eyes, "look, everyone knows it. The new wallboard section stinks. The old ROM still looks fabulous today, and certainly more fabulous, to everyone except Wicked Willie Thorsell and his cronies, who are frankly, unjustifiably enthralled with their Walmart Wallboard Heaven.

" But no one else is, except Chris Hume, and we know he just writes nice stuff so he gets invited to more high class balls with WillIe's friends."

After a few tears, Hilary bowed to the wishes of her advisors, and instead of putting up her memorial obelisks outside the new ROM entrance, ordered two monster megaliths installed over the entrance the old ROM entrance. Even though she had nothing to do with building the marble and mosaics there.

Think of it as re-branding the pyramids of Gizah and defacing them with a new monster display panel.

And she ordered more memorial megaliths put inside, so they would be right in the face of anyone climbing up or down the marble staircase.

If you look in the photo above, you can see Hilary's handiwork in the two monster stones, one at the head of each staircase, below the lamps.













A confidant reported that after the memorial monoliths were installed Hilary spent quite a bit of time, hiding behind a potted palm, to watch people as they went down the staircase, to see if they noticed her name on the plaques.

Alas, she noted, people going down the stairs are always looking down, to make sure they don't stumble.

No one ever looked up to see her memorial obelisk.

Why hadn't her architectural and promotional advisors figured that out - after all they charge so much for their advice, and the stones cost so much to make and install?

Guess how many of these huge stone Hilary monoliths she ordered installed? Two, three...? Four, five...?

We kid you not, Hilary is way ahead of you.

In fact, kids, the correct answer is 6... (six) huge Hilary stones, on four flours, at the head of each set of stairs. And that's 8 (eight) if you add the ones outside the building. Not the most powerful Egyptian Pharaoh, not Saddam Hussein at his most egomaniacal, ever put up such colossal over the top testimonials to self-promotion run wild. We can't show you them all because we believe that would be overkill. But there are four more, on the other side. It's all, frankly, just too Hilaryous, for words...

In all 237.4 metric tonnes of memorial megaliths. Which translates into 6.7 million dollars in tax deductions for Hilary for charitable donations for decorating the walls of the ROM... Now do you know why they call her the "Cookie Monster?" Because it's all monstrous, not just preposterous... All approved by Wicked Willie Thorsell, to make sure he'd keep getting invited to her parties.

We've had an independent consultant do an analysis on what it would cost to remove these huge desecrations of a public space. In Iraq they just tore down Saddam Hussein's self-serving memorials, when his turn on the world stage was done.

Considerably more is involved if future generations ever want to take out the Hilary memorial stones. The cost at removal and replacement: 32.65 million dollars. Frankly, said our expert, it would be cheaper just to tear down the museum and start fresh, from scratch...

Hilary, built well... Like Ozymandias, she's here for the Ages...

Below from the basement to the main floor, and from the second to the third floor, Hilary is with you every step of the way...

Skill Testing Question Boys and Girls:

How many monstrous Megaliths does Hilary Weston have in all?

Eight, boys and girls - we kid you not...

What town uses the same amount of electricity to light its main street
as it takes to light all eight of Hilary's Megaliths?

Sudbury, ON and Belfast, Northern Ireland

But the Indian on the totem pole held his stomach from laughing so hard from having seen the foibles of the rich and famous unfold before his very eyes...

What would Hilary do now, to make sure people really did notice her?

Well, why not install a Hilary memorial reminder where people have to look down?

This time Hilary took no advice; she came up with this idea all herself...


Six Hilary megaliths, dwarfing on-lookers with their jaw-dropping sarcophageal splendour, adorn both sides of the fabulous marble staircase that has lovingly enveloped a First Nations totem pole for generations of Canadians now long gone. Primitively majestic in the sheer barbaric bravura of their overweening grandiosity, Hilary's stones are nothing, if not a totally, over-the-top display of a manic ego run amok,

They will remain the ultimate Canadian gaucherie of the 21st century. Probably of the world. Certainly unmatched by Saddam Hussein.

To ordinary Canadians who see in it nothing but a tacky display by a gal who married a guy with loot. A lotta loot that got her everything she has..

When Wicked Willie Thorsell suggested that Hilary embed her memorial tombstones in "Wallboard Heaven" - which is the new ROM addition that she and her artistically challenged friends had spear-headed to completion - she had a hissy-fit. He had suggested a huge expanse of wall - below - where there was lots of room for her to install anything she wanted. She wouldn't hear of it. She wanted her megaliths in the "real ROM" the original splendid old section, not that horrid "basement reno job" that the "crystal" - a PR term - had become.

Right The Hilary memorial mock-up that Wicked Willie Thorsell beta tested on the wallboard ROM addition she had helped to install.

When she saw it Hilary blurted out, "Why it looks like my maid's rec room in her rooming house. Can't we do something more grand and more permanent and magnificent in stone or something. This looks just too gauche to me. Besides, when the lights go out, nobody can see me at all. I'm thinking, can't you give me something 24:7 Willie, not 9 to 5?"

That's when Willie went to the quarry...

ROM Visitor's Checklist - Hilary Weston's Magnificent Self-Branding Adventure

1 front entrance, East Portico, right side, upper level Weston inscription 4 Exterior Monster Megalithic Inscriptions

The Guinness Book of World Records calls these 28 examples of Hilary branding, "the most ingeniously concentrated, and most audacious display, of names of the rich and powerful ever assembled in a public space on this planet or any other, in this world or the next, in the Occident or the Orient, and in all the annals of recorded History, in the Ancient, Medieval, or Modern World. It displaces with aplomb, the previous record holder of this distinction, Mr. Saddam Hussein, late, the President of Iraq."

Well worth a visit because they are all viewable by taking only a few steps.

Hilary Weston, often touted, by family and friends for her selfless public consciousness, has taken care to make sure that all 28 hagiographic inscriptions are all completely wheelchair accessible.

Right, The Guiness Book of World Records certifies that, long before the Americans had displaced Saddam Hussein from his podium of self-promotional egocentric madness, Hilary had beaten them to the punch...

2 front entrance, East Portico, right side, lower level Weston inscription
3 front entrance, East Portico, left side, upper level Weston inscription
4 front entrance, East Portico, right side, upper level Weston inscription
5 inside door entering, Weston left entrance, left door
6 inside door entering, Weston right entrance, right door
7 inside door entering, Weston middle entrance, left door
8 inside door entering, Weston middle entrance, right door
9 inside door entering, Weston right entrance, left door
10 inside door entering, Weston right entrance, right door
11 inside door exiting, Weston left exit, left door
12 inside door exiting, Weston left exit, right door
13 inside door exiting, Weston middle exit, left door
14 inside door exiting, Weston middle exit, right door
15 inside door exiting, Weston right exit, left door
16 inside door exiting, Weston right exit, right door
17 staircase right side, lower floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription Twelve Megalith Inscriptions of Pharaonic Proportions

These monstrous megaliths command every level of both grand staircases in the magnificent old - non-Hilary and her friends - part of the Royal Ontario Museum.

These are all well worth a visit.

KUDOS - Best of all, even the hearing impaired, those infirm of limb and mind, can see all 28 - that is twenty-eight - grandiose displays of Hilary's name within - we kid you not - a very few short steps. No wonder her friends testify to her public consciousness in everything she does.

In fact, It takes no more than 21 - that is twenty-one - SECONDS to visit them all.

You might say - "Boy, we sure got to hand it to you, Hilary!"

Don't bother; Galen and his Dad already did...

Pssst - we gotta go for a whiz.

No matter where you go from, Hilary's been there ahead of you, with one of her monstrous megaliths staring you in the face.

Run, but you can't hide; she's lurking for you everywhere.

18 staircase right side, lower floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
19 staircase right side, main floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription
20 staircase right side, main floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
21 staircase right side, upper floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription
22 staircase right side, upper floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
23 staircase left side, lower floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription
24 staircase left side, lower floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
25 staircase left side, main floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription
26 staircase left side, main floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
27 staircase left side, upper floor, megalith upper level Weston inscription
28 staircase left side, upper floor, megalith lower level Weston inscription
You're In My Face

A rare photo of the men's washroom in the ROM during another Hilary branding initiative that was beta tested for a short time and then finally rejected.

Exit polls - seriously - showed that men were very discomfited with trying to pass water, what with Hilary's smiling face so close to their privates.

Many, frankly, reported they got "hung up" or just "froze" and so were unable to relieve themselves.

As a result most avoided the Hilary memorial urinals and went elsewhere...

In fact it was ROM gardeners who discovered this first, and found the answer to the mysterious cause of why so many of their potted plants in the building were suddenly wilting and dying...

Turns out most men preferred the privacy of a potted palm to Hilary's "urine my face" memorial urinals...

Below the dreadful blight that Wicked Willie Thorsell first assured ROM gardeners was the result of some dastardly Muslim terrorist plot...

Then it turned out that Hilary's branding exercise was the culprit, after a watchful guard grabbed a photo of someone doing the dirty deed in one of the ROM's display rooms... (In fact the ugly statue had been an earlier victim, till the rope rail was put up.)

Wicked Willie hesitantly told Hilary that her face had to go... Which is why the urinals are still there today - undefaced - and doing a brisk business...

Hmmmh... wonder where she'll show up next...?

And incredulous couple wonder what could possibly be under cover.

They'll have to wait for spring for the unveiling.

But we've seen a mock-up of the life size statue of a young Hilary, probably as she looked when she was 24, based on this portrait.

This is her official portrait painted in 2004 when she was 62... Shows what a good artist can do for you if you're well connected... This artist will get lots of repeat business...

It will also feature the Holt Renfrew logo on dress and cape.

C'mon, now, nothing wrong with a little self-promotional advertising, now, is there...?

OZYMANDIAS - Percy Bysshe Shelley

I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Go to Famous Alterstones

And yes, since you asked, those really are Hilary's legs, and megalith. When all is said and done, sadly, they are all that will remain of our civilization. Proving, of course, that Hilary early on, figured out what most other women, bitterly, only discover late in life - that they should have married the "rich guy" not the "right guy."

Too late they learned that the "rich guy" is, always, the "right guy." That Hilary had a "leg up" on how successful women get ahead in our society..

Hilary, quite properly, your megalith deserves to remain, when all is said and done, as the hallmark to womanhood in our civilization.

Battle of the Bulge

The official portrait of Hilary Weston, painted from life, in 2004. (Her super wealthy husband, Galen, arranged for her to become Lieutenant-Governor of Ontario, for a bit, when she got bored sorting clothes at Holt-Renfrew.)

That's Hilary far right as she looked when she sat (stood) for the artist, when she was 62, in 2004. (Peeking in is the man she married early on when she was a model, to become in one move, confirmed as Ireland's Richest Woman in 2010.)

The artist's "conception" right, has brilliantly transformed her into a 25 year old ingenue, whose face doesn't register that a single serious thought ever passed that way.

It's certainly a classically excellent instructional tutor of how to make a living as a portrait artist for the rich and the super-rich.

Peel off some thirty or forty years; put some life into that tired, drooping hair; paint out the grey with blonde; remove the wrinkles; redistribute the bags and lift up the sags; pull back the jowls; flatten out those bulges; hide the belly button; replace the floppy retro gown made of old library drapery that uncharitably accentuates all the unflattering parts of her anatomy.

The march of time is unkind to most of us - especially if you eat too many oreo cookies - and hiring a female artist, Brenda Bury, to turn back the ruthlessly unkind hands of time was a good move.

Now Hilary will live forever, as a frivolous 25 year old socialite, royally caped up to go out to party #1,292,321...

No Paunch on these Old Guys - Compare that to two other Ontario Government portraits of former Premiers Rae and Peterson.

Hey these grey-haired old geezers look like contenders, and appear cleared for some serious action...

Not just a couple of clothes-horse, "cape-ons." These guys are the real thing - serious self-made men of consequence - and don't mind looking like it...

But Hilary would never have stood for "reading glasses," gray hair, a dishevelled tie, or a wrinkled and unbuttoned shirt, betraying an all-night cabinet session...

And baah... to holding pencil and paper like Premier Rae, she'll display something of meaning to her, a cloak from Holt-Renfrew, showing it off to great effect like the model she once was.

(In fact she contemplated using this portrait as an ad to start a "Hilary House of Fine Fashion" line of clothes, you know, like Joan Rivers and her Shopping Channel jewelry, Paris Hilton and her perfume below. Till cooler heads prevailed... Pity, now we will never know if Paris' advertising portrait inspired Hilary's or vice versa...)




















And just when the Royal Ontario Museum was making us getting used to seeing even more of carefree young Hilary...

Instead of, uggh, Premier Peterson's ghastly wrinkles in the mirror, from thinking, and fretting, on too many levels, of the trying affairs of state... Get a life, Dave, I mean, really...

Paris and Hilary, offering us timely reminders, to think twice of commissioning future portraits of men, acting as if they're comfortable with their maturity, and who appear to look like they're serious dudes, who tried to do something worthwhile.

But hey, don't be too harsh on Hilary's vanity. Her rich friends are doing the same thing.

So you pick; who's the better looking at 62?

Her gal pal, Heather Reisman, whose super-rich husband, Gerry Schwartz, also bought her a business - Indigo Books - she could play around with in between doing her social stuff, is famous for picking books she anoints as suitable reading for Canadians.

Heather was born in 1948, is 62 now, and so thought it wise to trot out a store publicity photo from when she was sweet 16...

Now don't you agree, that she looks her age?

No serious thought shall crease my brow
No furrow edged by life allow;
To time's advance I will not bow
Though every lowbrow wails "miaow"

- excerpt copyright from poem "Owed to Gerry"

It's one of the great perks that comes when you're the boss lady.

Wonder what her driver's license photo looks like?

When we had ours made they sternly said, "Look sober; no smiles." Egad, we looked our age!

Heather, a mature 62, these days, we're told doesn't have to submit to such an ignoble indignity. She has a chauffeured limousine also paid for by her chief benefactor.

There's a salutary lesson there for all Canadians...

If you can't be born rich, you can at least marry rich...

Right Hilary, Barbara, Heather, Maggie, Linda, Nancy...? And all those other "young" things draped on some old rich codger's arm...

Sadly, it's something Ellie Siegmeister, in Rugged Butte, Manitoba, would have dismissed.

"Not fer me 'tanks. Though I'm told dat's what lots o' dem wimmin folks do down in Trawna.

"Fer me, I couldn't poss'bly go through life knowin' dat, everything I do, everyone I meet, everywheres I turn, none of it, would jes niver have been possible, a' tall, if it weren't for my husban's billfold. I couldn't live with miself if I did like dem, chasin' a guy 'caus he's rich."

Western Canadian wisdom. But it's doubtful if the Easter gals would listen.

Nowadays, t's just too tempting for most modern city gals to ask a man they meet for the first time, what kind of package he comes with...

Ladies and Gentlemen, May I Present the Garbage Wall...

Just when you thought you had seen the last of the rich and famous, you run into more of them, at the front door of the ROM, this time, the Frums.

You know, the privileged and well looked after offspring of multi-millionaire Murray Frum, who pulled strings to have his daughter Linda above first, given a journalist job at the ultra-right wing National Post, owned by buddy Izzy Asper, and then appointed a Senator by the ultra-right wing Harper government, in exchange for raising a lot of election money for him from their Toronto friends.

Why can't Canada's rich and the super-rich give quietly?

Most of their wealth is inherited. Most did nothing to earn it, besides being born into the right family.

It is a fact, that most ordinary Canadians give a far greater portion of their personal income and savings, than the high society types ever give. And they give willingly without the requisite fanfare, without which the rich and super-rich would give nothing. In fact they only "give" with the understanding they'll get millions to deduct from their taxes under "charitable donations." What a hoot!

One is reminded of the public benefactor in Erie, Pennsylvania, who recently gave 10 million dollars to various needy community groups, with the understanding that he would remain totally anonymous, and unknown, to both the public and the recipients of his personal and private act of generosity.

Only in America?

"You betcha...!"

Canadians agree the Senate's the best gig in Canada, a job for life, with pay, expenses, and pension, worth multi-millions, with absolutely no work to do, or hours to show up for, in order to collect.

"Thanks Pop..." She means Murray right, with - yes we noticed too - a much, much younger second wife Nancy. How much, only her surgeon knows for sure. (She's not Linda's mum who was CBC broadcaster Barbara).

To distance herself from all the embarrassing questions, Linda now insists on being called Linda Sokolowski... Sorry pop, you know how it is... I want to be my own person now, not just the daughter of elite multi-millionaire socialites Barbara and Murray Frum...

God, but you know, it's so nice to be born rich, and on easy street... so you can spend all your time raking in the dough, and seeing where you can plaster your name in front of everybody's face...

And if you thought you had, at last, escaped Hilary's clutches, you would be wrong.

Just next door at the Royal Conservatory of Music, more examples of Hilary's branding adventures...












Now do you know why they call Mrs. Christie, the Cookie Monster...?

Hangin' out with Hilary...

We thought you'd never ask...

What's the curatorial staff doing at the ROM these days?

Why hanging out with Hilary, waiting for her to decide where she wants them to tear out more walls to put in her memorial monoliths...

Or collecting their paychecks and expense chits. Certainly they're not up to doing anything intellectual...

For years now they've been publicizing a gross mistake on their Canadiana ceramic ware display that we pointed out long ago.

Changing it would mean work.

Hangin' out with Hilary, much more fun...


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